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Planning a proposal is already terrifying. What if she says no? What if you plan this massive public proposal and then she walks away? And what if she says yes…but she’s not wild about the ring you picked out for her? It can be hard to pick out the perfect ring. You could be soulmates with your girl but do you really know her taste in jewelry? You could avoid this mess by taking her ring shopping or asking for her preferences. But if the damage is already done and she doesn’t like her engagement ring, don’t panic. She said yes and she obviously loves you. Now, you’ve got several options:

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1. Be sensitive
If you are upset, try to keep your emotions in check. She is probably mortified to bring this up to you and would do anything to avoid hurting your feelings. No matter what decision you make on the engagement ring, it’s important to keep make each other’s feelings a top priority and understand where she is coming from.

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2. Check the refund policy
Check the refund policy with the jeweler you purchased the engagement ring from. Is there a limitation to returning the ring? If you are within that policy, go back with your fiancé and let her pick out something new. If it’s out of the return date, you’ve still got a few options below.

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3. See about a different setting
Does she love the stone but hate the setting? See if your jeweler can replace the actual ring. This is honestly one of the easier options you have. You might even be able to sell the original setting and get some of your money back. Or if you want to be sentimental, keep the setting and put in another stone. She can wear that ring on her other finger.

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4. Look into wraps and enhancers
You could also look into wraps and enhancers. These are form fitting rings that add extra sparkle to solitaire settings. This is a great option if she feels her engagement ring is plain. Also this can double as her wedding band, which might actually save you money in the long run.

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5. Check out the latest trends
Tons of brides are going for the mismatched wedding band look. If she is unhappy with her engagement ring, see if this is an option. This look adds extra sparkle and a unique sense of style.

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6. Trade in the stone for a different gem or upgrade
Okay, so this point might actually upset you. If she’s unhappy with the size of the gemstone or diamond, you’ve still got a few options. If you can afford it, see if you can get a bigger carat. If you can’t, then try and meet her halfway with an elaborate wedding band or enhancer. A lot of couples splurge on an infinity band for future anniversaries. This is also an option down the road.

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7. Get an elaborate wedding band and ditch the engagement ring
If she thinks the engagement ring is a dud and doesn’t want a wrap or enhancer, splurge on a wedding band. You can get a band with large diamonds or gemstones. Or an exotic style that looks extra chic. Letting her decide on the wedding band could get you out of hot water.

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8. Give the ring a test run
Ask her if she’s willing to give the ring a try. If so, then give her a few days to breathe. Don’t bring it up and definitely don’t go shopping for a new one yet. If she falls in love with the ring over those few days then you’ve dodged a bullet and you’ve got yourself a happy fiancé.

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9. Ask for input
And if you do decide to take the engagement ring back, take her with you. Don’t go back alone again. Let her make the decision on the ring she’s going to wear for the rest of her life. You can use this as a learning experience and figure out what her personal style is. You’ll be buying her jewelry for a long time ahead so take notes.

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10. Don’t advertise your problems
If you are having issues over choosing an engagement ring, it’s best not to advertise your troubles to your family and friends. Your parents might think less of your fiancé or vice versa. It could just cause a ton of unnecessary problems in the future.

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11. Don’t doubt your relationship over a ring
You shouldn’t be doubting your relationship because she doesn’t like the ring. It’s natural to feel hurt, especially if she doesn’t like how big the rock is. But you’ve got to realize that she’ll be wearing this ring for the rest of her life. It’s important that she likes it and that she’s happy with the ring itself.

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12. Be honest
Throughout this entire process you both should be honest with each other. You can be honest without being petty or cruel. Use this as a lesson for your marriage. It’s great practice to be patient, kind, and honest when you are disagreeing.

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13. Make new memories
After you have the new engagement ring picked out, go make new memories with that ring. You can recreate the original proposal or start over from scratch. Regardless, you’ve got a happy fiancé and a great start towards your new life.

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