Whether you've been expecting it or it comes as a surprise, being asked to sign a prenup by your fiancé or his family can catch you off-guard. If you've been asked for a prenuptial agreement, you may initially be upset, but it's important to keep in mind that they're very common and not just for celebrities or the super wealthy. Because many of us are older now when we get married, we’re likely to already have our careers in place and may have real estate, savings or other assets. This results in making requests to sign prenups the norm.
How To Mentally Prepare Yourself
If you suspect you're going to be asked to sign a prenuptial agreement or the topic has been broached, there are a few things you can do to help prepare yourself mentally. By asking you to sign a prenup, keep in mind that your fiancé isn't accusing you of being a gold digger or assuming that your marriage will fail. Prenups can be signed for a variety of reasons, not just because of money. Think of a prenup as a way to protect both of you; you can negotiate the terms and ensure that you're signing a mutually beneficial document that offers you security as well as him. Prenups don't have to be one sided agreements that leave your fiance protected but not you. Also, remind yourself that your prenuptial agreement will most likely become a piece of paper that you sign, tuck away and never think of again. You and your sweetheart are going to have a long and happy life together, and your prenup will likely become nothing but a memory.
What To Do If You Don't Want To Sign It
If you feel hesitant when asked to sign a prenup, it's an excellent idea to seek independent legal advice. A lawyer who specialises in marital and family law can offer you some perspective on how to proceed, as well as review the agreement to ensure it's safe and beneficial for you as well as your partner. Once you've obtained legal advice, you can discuss the prenup with your fiancé and negotiate any terms that are concerning to you. As challenging as it may be, try to separate your head and your heart in this situation. Marriage relationships will involve significant business decisions over the years, so remember that this is just the first of many. Consider that a prenup can take the pressure off your relationship and show that you're committed to marrying for love, not money. They may not be romantic, but they can be negotiated diplomatically without damaging your marriage.
What To Do If He Still Wants You To Sign It
If after obtaining independent legal advice and discussing the prenup with your fiancé he still wants you to sign it, consider attending counseling together. Put it "out there" and talk about the agreement with a professional who can help facilitate a thorough, honest and respectful discussion. By attending counseling, you can learn your fiancé's motivation for requesting you sign a prenup, and you can voice your concerns in a constructive manner. Counseling is a healthy part of premarital planning and helps you understand each other's thoughts and positions. Once you've learned why your beloved wants you to sign a prenup and shared your feelings with him, you may discover it's something you can tolerate. If after counseling you are your fiancé are still taking firmly different positions, then you may have a tough decision to make – but don't automatically write a prenup off as a deal breaker! While many women are initially opposed to the idea of a prenup as insulting or insensitive, further exploration and discussion can help you realise they're nothing to worry about, and even beneficial for brides-to-be yourself.